now at work
i cant concentrate at all

bad things happen last nite
13thApril.... 13th... its jynx-ed
i m jynx to hab a cpl ring
i noe many said being sad over a game is ridiculous
but i cant help it...
that ring had been so impt to me aft that saffron LP
i tot i can return u a favour to reach aster b4 ur bdae
treating it as a bdae present but its gone ~
its been a long time i last teared over a gal
2yrs alrdy.... i cant even believed myself realli shed a tear for you
cant believe that i could be so serious wif that ring... its virtual
yet i made it so real... its alrdy like a commitment to me
but juz that 1 split second its gone... right in front of me.
gosh... i punched e wall last nite
i made my knuckles bleed... now its kinda swollen, fk cared
punching wall is my way of letting it out but it nvr been so jialart b4
i stared at my dinner last nite fer 1hr & i nvr eat dao
dun even wanna tell my mom i had no appetite
sat at e sofa wif e TV off, stoning
went downstairs to continue stoning
u called but i duno how to face u. mind was blank, was away
even if i may had pick up i think i oso had nth to say
e things that juz happen in front of my eyes had made me lost of words

i noe i cant die for you he can
yet i may think u juz love him cuz of sympathy. its selfish thinking but thats how i m thinking everytime
u chose to run away... there is always better choices so that u wont suffer
but u chose him cuz he willing to die for you
hahas... i guess i m too afraid. Fear lives in me
my thinkin was always positive if i m in that kind of situation
gosh i'm out of my mind alrdy.
how i wish i noe u earlier
or maybe during e time i alrdy known you & added u in my BL
how great would it be then? all this sadness would occur to me or you

asking me to find someone better to replace you?
i guess i might turn ghey by then (trying to joke here)
its too hard....i guess my sincerity juz got pawned by death
i lost~
lost both you & my heart.
i tot i might be able to prove to everyone u'r a gd gal
now its all shattered... my efforts gone
juz like my colleagues always say... "its a waste of resources"
i accepted you for who you r & not wad you had done
accepted
now i juz proved u to become worse. juz great ~.~
its so not wad i wanted.
now i can prove to ppl sincerity gets pawned by death situation ~
how amusing ~

thx shanshan for trying to use ur childish behaviour to cheer me up
it will tak quite a while to be back myself again.

i lost you in the end
my worries came true
efforts gone ; ring is gone ; you r gone
how ironic love can be
i had teared for you
Death pawns sincerity

"you are the reason i breathe
you are the reason i still believe"

Tuesday, April 14, 2009 , 10:18 AM